Warriors! What’s up? I pray each of you are well. This month has been intense! I mean from the scorching heat outside to the spiritual amplification of the heat. I can’t speak for anyone else but though this month has been PACKED with its challenges, yet it’s also been filled with substantial revelation.
I believe the biggest revelation I have received was, “Paris, do the hard work so your heart can work.”
At first I was a bit perplexed by it because in my head my heart works just fine. Truth of the matter is, my heart had been ‘functional' yet not effective. How many of us can attest to being functional but not effective? Here but not present?
I had woven these intense layers of defense that were seemingly impenetrable. For years I had allowed previous trauma and failed relationships become the gage of everything to come. I was in the mindset of “everyone hurts you, trust no one, and everyone eventually leaves.” This generated an entire bondage due to an inability to trust. I over analyzed everyone, every conversation, and mapped out how they’d too eventually hurt me.
This plagued me so much so that it spilled over into my relationship with God. I would find myself greatly frustrated with life and all that it entailed because I believed God but I never truly trusted Him. Listen to me, God is not to be limited by the metrics of man! Not to mention, it’s hard to obey what you do not fully trust.
By doing this you will never be able to witness the totality of who He is or all that He has for you. I mean the word does say “signs, miracles, and wonders.” How can we believe him for others or monetary supplements but not things internal?
I have learned and accepted, not everyone has the capacity or is meant to cover and carry you! It’s okay. Love them anyway but move in accordance to their position in your life.
I’m also learning there’s power in my surrender and strength in my submission. Yes, people will fall short but you too are people. We must begin to seek the God in a person rather than the person. It’s in that moment that we are able to truly see the contents of their heart from a clear perspective as opposed to a faulty lens tangled in unrealistic expectations.
Yesterday was a really hard day for me. A huge factor as to why I did not want to post this month or next. August and September have been a laborious for the past four years. Anywho, yesterday I was surprised by some of my closest friends here in Atlanta with a day out to one of my bucket list visits. I did not have to do anything but ride. On the drive I began to realize how blessed I truly am! Not because of an act of service but because of the heart of people to be attentive and present. It was proof of doing the hard work so my heart can work had begun to pay off. These relationships reciprocated the authentic pour I try to convey on consistently.
This trip had many adventures but there was one in particular that made me manifest (lol). The treetop adventures! Anyone who knows me knows I am TERRIFIED of heights! Like fam, even escalators give me anxiety. We would have to journey up at least 40ft in the air in the middle of the woods for obstacles and zip lining.
As I began to climb up the ladder for the obstacle course I was angry and afraid. I was angry that my friends were making me face a fear without proper mental preparation (truthfully I would not have done it even if I were prepared) and afraid that I would fall or simply fail. See, that trust piece came right back up. I did not trust the equipment, the guides, or even the people I came with. I allowed myself to retreat and isolate instead of looking at the bigger picture.
I was out of the house focusing on LIFE and celebration rather than sadness and heartache with people who wanted nothing from me but true happiness.
You see the beauty of having people around you that push you beyond your limit is that you never truly fall or fail. If you fall there’s someone on the ground ready to catch you or extend a system to lower you from where you are safely. The true failure is never trying. There’s no real opportunity for failure because someone is behind you to encourage you as your pursue.
Yesterday, I was a ball of emotions but I’m extremely proud of myself. For everything thing I thought I couldn’t do, I tackled and at least attempted. There was a point I was completely petrified! Literally holding on for dear life and sobbing. I wanted to say "I can't do this, let me down," but for some reason I said "give me a sec to get myself together and I'll try again." You see once I made the initial step I served my mind notice that I CAN! Sometimes what lies ahead is so big that we get overwhelmed. It’s not always about the finish line but simply staying the course. Embrace how far you've come because it could have gone another way. The beauty is in the climb! On of the biggest rewards is knowing you have defeated areas of the mental battleground. For me, it was significant that I knew I survived for a reason and LIFE is my portion!
It’s like a baby bird leaving its nest for the very first time. They never truly know if they’re ready or if they won’t fall. All they know is their chances of survival greatly diminish every moment they decide to stay. They simply leap, trusting the strength of their wings. Let’s take a lesson from creation and trust the strength in our own wings. Awaken your inner #WARRIOR and take chances!
The worst that could happen is that you fly before you fall! :)