The Withering

“But it seems that the wind is setting East, and the withering of all woods may be drawing near.” –J.R.R. Tolkien

As many of us are in great expectation of the spring season, I can't help but think of everything that precedes it. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE the spring weather and sick of this Georgia weather playing with my emotions; however, how can we truly embrace the beauty of the bright flowers blooming, sunny days, and cool breeze if we overlook everything thing that had to die off or wither away?

What is withering you ask? The dictionary describes it as intense or scorching or to shrivel 2) to lose the freshness of youth, as from age.

Mark 4:6 (NIV) reads: “but when the sun came up, the plants were scorched, and they withered because they had no root.” This chapter in itself about took me out! It’s painting the picture of the seeds we carry, scatter throughout, and the manifestation of those seeds.

How many of us scatter seeds over the earth but yield little to no harvest? Perhaps the seeds we’re spreading have been scorched or pruned away because they lack roots? Perhaps we haven’t even gotten to the root!! We undergo fire to kill what is no longer needed not to just create a blaze haphazardly. The fire isn’t the punishment but the result of God saying—there’s more.

It's so ironic how my anticipation for a new season (Georgia is going through the 3rd winter lol) became the entry point for God to push me into a literal new season internally. I found myself yearning for "something new" but all the while I was carrying so many things of seasons past.

It was my birthday and I was frustrated from spending it alone and consequently found myself seeking affirmation from people. Yes, I had a dinner the Sunday before and people showed up but so much went wrong—or so I thought. I wanted to feel loved, celebrated, and appreciated.

However, God placed me in an even more uncomfortable place. So as I sat in this busy parking lot, wrapped in offense, despair, and somewhat agony, I was reminded that not everyone (title or not) is called to speak over your life! Everyone, kin or not, will not celebrate you! Slowly after, the Holy Spirit whispered, “you may be isolated but you are NEVER alone! I pulled you here to seek ME NOT them—I am the Lord your God. I am changing your seek so loose every expectation of men.

Y’all, at this point I’m like drowning in tears. I literally had thought I was over wanting to be accepted/celebrated by others. BUT, what you won’t truly reveal can never be healed. It’s like hair, you can shave it all away but it’s only the temporary solution to a problem. When shaving, you never touch the ROOT (follicle) until you begin the extraction process. Many of us, myself included, would rather shave the surface than dig beneath the epidermis layer. Truth is, it only gets worse. The follicle begins to descend deeper, causing inflammation & discomfort before sprouting out thicker and more stubborn. This is what we do to ourselves when God is asking for more. Generate a life of surface healing instead of soul extraction!

If I am completely transparent, this blog was supposed to go live last month. I had a contractual agreement with God about these blogs.. I did not uphold my end because of frustration from others and spirit resistance. I convinced myself that this blog wasn’t as challenging or wasn’t as deep or vulnerable as the others have been but truth of the matter… it is! It’s the most direct reflection of my present season. My life is in a real withering space.

My life was drastically changing before my eyes and has officially changed. Not by a mere works and efforts of myself, but a willful surrender, unadulterated choice, relentless pursuit and an acceptance of the mandate on my life. However, what happens when you allow your pain and trauma to speak louder than God’s grace? Or, you’re simply terrified of your next—even when you’ve fought and prayed for it? Honestly, success and purpose are terrifying! For me, it’s a HUGE uncharted territory. As a result, I wanted to hold on that part of me; the part of me in constant struggle and pursuit but never arriving. Well, that is not what God has and voluntarily or involuntarily His will and plan will always prevail. So… here I am, doing it! Scared as ever, but doing it! I’m still pursuing, forever in a bow to the highest King, and I have arrived. Not at my final destination, but at stop #1 and I could not be more ecstatic to witness on everything God has in store and set aside for PARIS!

I’m not sharing this to be braggadocios by any means but in efforts to inspire! There is so much that God has placed inside of all of us! Let’s come out of agreement with people, false burdens, and fear and actually DO IT—Do it scared.

Just as the leaves fall in autumn and wilt away in winter all to emerge in spring more vibrant than before, so must you. Accept the withering because not all things that fall are dead and everything that dies is not punishment. So, sister, brother, I admonish you—keep digging! Value your root system! #SpringForward #WarriorEffect